A picture that gets smeared in white

Previous 10

Mar. 3rd, 2008

(no subject)

location: my world

mood:

listless

music: Arashi - We can make it!

My lj theme is so... blah. I want color and happy feeling... or at the very least Jaejoong. But I've been over this 78565487 times -_-
I find a theme... and can't edit the banner and it's jumbled together like Michael Jackson's face. So I revert to a premade layout. On the other hand, my photoshop has gone down the drain. As enticing as the Balloons PV is, it must be against the law to use icons from such a long time ago. I've lost inspiration, rather I'm too tired to work.

Last night, I procrastinated. My Frost analysis was overdue. I typed out random ramblings (which surprisingly are very coherent as of today) until midnight and my 700-1000 word paper is barely there. Really, Bobby, your poem is 15 lines long. There are only a limited number of interpretations on the juxstaposition of reality and knowledge.

( for once, then, SOMETHING )

Cool guy, clouded words.
Or at least to the sleep-deprived mind.

I don't drink Caffeine at all now. (well tea doesn't count) Green tea is cool. :] But no more coffee, which leaves no choices at cool places like starbucks. Plus, they stare you down so much when you ask for soy milk. The 'baristas' are honestly so rude. "A frapucchino, you know that's cold right?" Umm... duh? Baristas... what a weird term. Anyways, after my soy mil plea, they stare me down. "Would you like whipped cream?" And when the answer is no they are basically half out of the counter looking for a hemp bag, cornrows, and converse.

That just went nowhere.. anyways, I'm cutting down on the caffeine in my life. :]
Top 5 reasons for not drinking coffee -

5. Green tea is love. <3
4. I'm permanently brain-damaged by one too many all-nighters (can't shake Harvard sleep bulimia)
3. Coffee makes me wired... and weird.
2. Antioxidants *I love the little grape juice commercial. The little girl is SO ADORABLE*
1 Added sugar x_x

Posted at 08:24 pm | Link | leave a greeting | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Feb. 24th, 2008

(no subject)

NO MORE
HIATUS.

I am sorry for anyone at

best_of_seoul.
I was taken down by mono and befallen for weeks.
Only now I'm slowly recovering (rest is friend-locked)...

:]

Thank you a TON for

milena_1980 for reaching out and cheering me up through this time.
Even if it's a small message, kindness is not easily forgotten. <3333

Jan. 28th, 2008

threeeee thiiings

location: my world

music: Koda Kumi - hearrty

tagged, by

milena_1980
so there so no choice but to succumb to her ploys. XP

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Ria
2. Ree-yah (or any weird prononciation as I have heard used by all others)
3. M.A. <- for those friends who insist on calling me by my initials.

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. _hee_ri_ (obsolete)
2. tangerine_dreams57 (it seems like such a long time ago... actually I still use it for most things)
3. fundamental_lov (my best invention)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I have skinny arms, and skinny wrists, and long slender nails. But that's the only graceful part of me .
2. My legs are lean and muscled (O_O sounds weird, I know) from too much running
3. I WILL like my teeth once kiss my dental appliance good-bye! XP

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My teeth!!! As of now. They're not bad completely, but my palate is narrow and its screwing up by bite.
2. By face in general. I think its too wide and my nose is disproportionate to the rest. X_X
3. Glasses

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. A weird undistinguishable mix of Asian
2. Eastern European
3. Italian. <33

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Silence (O_O)
2. Fish!! I have a natural phobia...
3. Being left alone forever

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Jaejoong!! (fill in same for nos. 2 +3
2. Computer (with Internet and LJ)
3. Lotion (I have dry skin)

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Dark skinny jeans
2. Green wifebeater (although its FREEZING)
3. Silver headband

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. DBSK
2. Ayumi Hamasaki/Koda Kumi (too painful to choose)
3. Chopin (yes, I'm lame like that)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS: (at the moment)
1. DBSK - Love in the Ice
2. Anyband - TPL (talk, play love)
3. Koda Kumi feat. Exile - Won't Be Long

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Humor
2. Trust
3. Kim Jaejoong LOL <- can't help but leave this one here

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. Jaejoong has ME on speed dial. :D
2. It's past midnight and I have a two page French essay due tomorrow
3. People overestimate my intelligence

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Long, flowy, beautiful hair (or any hair like Jaejoong's <3)
2. Being witty
3. Adorkability

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Writing
2. Music (playing, listening, singing)
3. Photography/Photoshop

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Go to sleep!!!
2. Visit DBSK (in a nonstalker way, if at all possible x_x)
3. Find out which food I am allergic to

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. Philosopher (when I was little)
2. Interior decorator
3. Biomolecular Engineer (as of now)

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. KOREAAAAA! --- same.
2. Japan! --- same.
3. Paris! --- same.

THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Faye
2. Evelien
3. Ada

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Fulfill AT LEAST ONE true fangirl act
2. Find true love
3. Change someone's life.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. I FANGIRL A LOT. --- same.
2. I am disgustingly clean and organized in whatever I do
3. I care too much about my hair. T_T

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY (LIKE) A BOY:
1. CONVERSE!! about seven pairs in my closet.
2. I'm grungy when no one sees me. ~~In a gross way~~
3. I did go through a boy hair phase (shudder)

THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW

untinnu

ai_love_sarang,

vrilly

Tags: three things quiz

Jan. 23rd, 2008

(no subject)

location: buried in white paper

mood:

crappy

music: Love in the ice - Tohoshinki

Going back to school tomorrow after mid-year break. T_T
I'm disappointed and not in the least bit excited.

But I would rather leave such bitterness behind since I finished (FINALLY) all of my research apps.
Except for Cornell, but Cornell will have to wait, I have more important things on my mind.
LIKE.. studying for exams which is exactly what I will do after this and showering and going into bed.
Cette nuit, je rêverai en français si ce serai possible.

My parents are watching tennis downstairs. x_x That is so like them. I mean they won't even watch football or baseball. Only tennis and soccer. And they refer to all the players by their first names, which is a ton creepy, like "wow.. Venus is losing her skill right?" or "Come one, Maria, push it!" I keep on hearing these random yells which frighten me, but only slightly. Its the same during the world cup, except I watch it with them and me and my dad practically glue ourselves to the couch. He's in it for the game, I'm in it for the hott soccer players (<333). But hey, he doesn't have to know. ;]
I do like the game I guess. But only when good teams are playing. Like I can't stand all the Brit leagues and the constant obsession of Europe. On the other hand, I might fit right in.
Europe and soccer is to South Korea and boy bands.
Can't come up with a better analogy? Yeah... my brain is falling apart tonight.

Au demain.
Je sais que je vais détéster tout ce que j'écrirai en français maintenant, parce que c'est toujours mauvais. T_T
oooo... comme je n'aime pas la langue français, ou pas de langue... ainsi ma classe de français et un prof qui ne peut pas enseigner.

Bisous pour vous. <33

( on the other hand... )

Tags: french, frustration

(no subject)

mood:

disappointed

I think I just failed my French midterm.
There were so many questions I was unsure of and then the essay I completely BSed.

This is it.
I'm spending WAY too much time on unnecessary things.
From now on, I'm spending every waking moment of my life studying for French.
Otherwise I'll fail the AP exam at the end of the year.
Its not even fully me.
I blame myself for not studying enough, but no one in my school has gotten above a 3 (the equivalent of a C) for over four years.
So its definitely Monsieur's fault to a greater extent.
All we do is real stupid articles from Le Monde and do exercises without actually learning the grammar.
It makes me SO SO SO frustrated.
We never et to practice writing and composing sentences.

In other words, my French language skill are très horrible indeed.
T_T
T_T
T_T

Tags: frustration

Jan. 22nd, 2008

(no subject)

“A lie rots someone’s soul. Once you swallow a lie and try to grow it out as a truth, it slowly eats away at
everything you are....everything that you try to achieve. You can’t grow anything positive in the barren soil that a
lie fallows.”

If you're reading this (you know who you would be), I just hope you can understand.

Posted at 06:19 pm | Link | leave a greeting | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

(no subject)

location: my world

mood:

determined

music: the gentle hum of the computer

( you know that song that you just can't get out of your head? )

I want a hair cut. No, scratch that. I'm in a dire need of a hair cut. Right now, I'm in that awkward border-line state between up to ear bob (which I definitely got before Posh, and proud of it. XP) and long waxy locks. Except my hair is nowhere long and wavy. Its straight and brittle from color damage. But hey, its growing out and I've learned my lesson until next time.
I remember... I went through so many stages last year. November 2006 was my introduction into K-Pop fandom and I got sucked in, vortexed and spit back out as a crazed fangirl. And so there was the stage of wanting Korean guy hair. I was entranced by the layering and the shortness of it all (since my hair had been getting gradually shorted since 2004) so I chopped almost everything off in a tribute to Yesung's hair.

It was quite cruel, you know, like "Baby, I only want you for your hair"
Since really at the I wasn't into his voice really (things have since changed)
But it came to be a TOTAL DISASTER!!!!
I already have thin hair and the stylist thinned it even more, so it looked okay after I got it but than that night I was showering and chunks started falling out. SO I was bawling my eyes out like a little kid. And she ended up doing it all wrong anyway, although I brought TONS of close up pictures, so it looked horrible and short and I was so embarrassed that I wore my hair up every single day with a million hair clips and bobby pins. And the dye job was really generic and WAY too bright, so I looked like Yesung: a piss-drunk Yesung who asked an equally drunk Heechul to style his hair and then woke up with half of it chopped of.

It was not pretty.

So I let my hair grow out and all was happy, tralalalala, or so it seemed. In may I let someone ruin my hair once more by doing horrible attempt at an asymetrical bob (which I just let grow out since it looked borderline ridiculous on my head when it was down) and my bangs were left as they were (another big mistake).

I don't mean to sound as bitter as I do. ^^
Really, I was young and foolish and did not know what is good for me.

So then in Harvard this summer, I wanted straight bangs (did you know that Jo

ongie got astigmatism from his side bangs which is why he always has the part which kinda goes down to the middle. yeah... ) and straight bangs I got, along with the thinning of them... (why?!? always with the thinning... I think there must be a God up there who hates the hell out of me). So they were thinned and they were primmed and my hair was once again bobbed. And I looked like a freak.

And in the fall... I got it evened out because after three years of short hair, I am tired and I want to go back to long hair. :]
All these hair disasters are coming back to haunt me... but once all of my chopped off hair comes back, I will be that much happier. Like, really happy. Its just that my hair is dark and straight and really cannot be molded well to get out of its straightness so people do not realize that. Like they will cut it to go in and everyone else's would . But does my listen? No... it just stays straight.

So in short, this rant is useless and I'm WAY overdue for a nice haircut.

May the force be with me...

Tags: hair

Jan. 21st, 2008

SHAMELESS ADVERTISING. . .

mood:

chipper

If anyone reads my journal or at least glances occasionally,
be a dear,

join

best_of_seoul

a brand-spankin'-new livejournal community for collabing (different from cah-lubbing)
Unsure of what collabing is?
Check it out. <333
you will not live to regret it. :]

I am also looking for someone to help with making a banner, whom I will supply with cookies for life.

Jan. 20th, 2008

(no subject)

Posted at 11:01 am | Link | leave a greeting | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

(no subject)

location: under a letter

mood:

blah

music: HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR - Days

I want to quit my job.
It's not like it is anything important. I waitress part-time at a Sushi place (once a week for a 12 hour shift rendering me only $80 for shift, give or take due to tip). But these days I'm growing tired. I'm physically exhausted. I am tired of the owner and his lewd comments (and gross remarks). I'm tired of giving up my Saturdays for the sake of waitressing. I have AP exams to study for and standardized tests. I want to do better in school and I want to strive and to achieve to do more that I am able to now.

And I sound depressive, but that is how I've been feeling lately. Mostly, I am exhausted physically.

This week, I went to my physician. She was angry again. I do not blame her, but her worries are trivial. I lost weight again (after holiday season), but trully, it was nothing major. My BMI is 20.1 which is a perfect weight for my height. Of course I'm like any other girl and I want to have a flatter stomach or fit into smaller sizes ( I'm a cruel product of today's society), but she does not listen. Its just tat I gain and lose weight so easily. I've lost 12 pounds since the beginning of summer (but that is only because I worked out and walked on stairs and ate um... semi well), but that is no reason to be called anorexic. She threatened me with a weight-loss clinic. And she's forcing me to keep a food log for the next two weeks (half for my other milk problem... but STILL!!! its unfair) so I'll show her and eat as fatty and unhealthy as possible. Its not even that, its that I lose weight by losing a lot of muscle off track season, which will not happen cause I have to keep it up and to train for the 800 (half) spring.

I also want to ...

( .... )

Tags: gloom

Posted at 10:54 am | Link | leave a greeting | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Previous 10

A picture that gets smeared in white

..: shall I compare thee to a winter's night? :..

Mar. 3rd, 2008

(no subject)

Feb. 24th, 2008

(no subject)

Jan. 28th, 2008

threeeee thiiings

Jan. 23rd, 2008

(no subject)

(no subject)

Jan. 22nd, 2008

(no subject)

(no subject)

Jan. 21st, 2008

SHAMELESS ADVERTISING. . .

Jan. 20th, 2008

(no subject)

(no subject)

March 2008

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